So I just got this email saying my affiliate account was going to be changing to Nats shortly.

I’ll go with the assumption the vast majority of my reader base is not into the adult webmaster scene. If you are a webbie, you will no doubt have an opinion on this.

Here’s how it breaks down… when you see a free gallery online of a girl, 99.9% of the time, it’s not a free gallery. it’s called an affiliate gallery. The images are there for free, yes, but there are usually banners or codes attached so if you, the surfer, head over and sign up for the website… then I, the affiliate, get credit for the sale.

Make sense?

hmmm… I’ll try and explain it better

John Doe comes to http://girls.jamesdot.com and clicks on Nikki Sims because she’s a stone cold fox. Yeah, I said it. So what?

So John Doe is getting all smiley whilst looking at the rather tasty Nikki Sims and he decides… sweet baby jesus I want to see more of this hotty. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn

He clicks her banner and next thing you know, he is at her website ready to sign up and become a member. Great idea btw, Nikki Sims puts a shit ton of work into her site and her right hand man Mumblez does as well. Crazy ass team those two, much love…

I digress…

John Doe signs up,  trumpets sound, confetti rains.. ok, not really. He signs up and because he came from this here website, I get credit for that sale. I get 50% of the sale because I sent him over. Not you might be thinking… I wonder what’s for dinner tonight? er… 50%??!!! that seems like a lot of cheese to pay someone for an intro!

It’s the standard rate.. and look at the other side of the coin, that other 50% goes to Nikki and that’s 50% she might not have had without my intro.

Ok, make sense? That’s how the affiliate thing goes down.

Now… as a webmaster, I can chose to use several companies to handle my credit card business. CCbill is the standard, the oldest and most trusted but they charge a fee for processing some webbies think is high. They cover the risks, the hassles, they also handle the affiliate back end. So when in this case, how Nikki got a sale because of me, CCbill would take note and credit my account for the sale. At the end of the week, they cut me a check for any sales I sent. CCbill handles it all and the checks are on time, every time, like clockwork.

Downside, that high % rate I was mentioning. It’s not that high, it’s the standard fee, but Nats on the other hand, is cheaper. Nats saves around 5% on average, sometimes more for the webbie so if you’re selling a lot of memberships, Nats can mean you make more money. More money from Nats, less money because fewer affiliates are pushing you.

Each webbie is in charge of their account with Nats, so if Nikki was Nats (thank fucking christ she’s not), then SHE would have to watch my sales and cut me a check herself each and every week. Like she has time for this shit. Now imaging she has 100 affiliates, that’s 100 checks she has to cut, that’s a tax fucking nightmare and then some. 100 affiliates is a joke. Most good sites have thousands of affiliates. Doesn’t mean each one will have sales mind you.

CCbill has a $30 limit for checks. If an affiliate has $30 coming to them, booya… checkola time bitches! Each and every week, on time, every time.

Nats on the other hand lets the webbie set his OMGIAMFUCKINGU amount so if the webbie with Nats decides… fuck you, I don’t want to deal with your ass until you’ve sent $100 in sales… then that’s what happens. So as an affiliate, you need to accumulate $100 in sales just to get paid. WTF? ‘Cuse me? Are you seriously penalizing me for trying to make you more money?

What’s said is how many Nats webbies simply flake and never pay out their webbies. Some do this, often. Others are awesome.

Nats isn’t the issue. The webbies using Nats is the issue. Nats itself is a great system, if you have the time to do all the paperwork, headaches and fuck it, make a 7 layer dip while you’re waiting for all those cocksucking checks to finish printing. I’m just saying… faaaaaack that. Twice.

As an affiliate, when I am looking at promoting a new website, if they use Nats, they can suck my right testicle. It’s a waste of time in my opinion because of the what if factor. I know there is a better than good chance that I’m not getting paid on time every time like a trusted company like ccbill. I also know I’m going to have to wait until I have some dumb ass amount of sales sent in.

At this point I am ranting of course.

A lot of well known sites use nats and a lot of these sites also have huge payrolls and can afford their own account dept. These are the good webbies I speak of. Again, Nats isn’t the issue. Nats can be great. The webbie behind Nats is usually the issue, and as an affiliate, am I going to waste my time with what if’s? what if they don’t pay me, what if they don’t send the check on time, what if they short change me, what if they’re skimming?

Nope. Nope I am not. Fuck that shit. I’ll stick to ccbill run sites. At least then I know the check is in the mail and like clock work, come rain, shine, sleet or snow, that check will show up.

I personally think promoting a website that uses nats is like wrapping your cock in tinfoil and walking outside in a lightning storm. Sure, this time you might make it across the street or even down the street… but sooner or later, you’re going to get fucked.