I went to see the doc today. I’m healthy, but I had been bothered by something with my body so I wanted to see a doc. You see, my penis barely fits in my pants. I’m not kidding, the thing is fucking massive. Like, un-naturally huge. Looks like a baby’s arm holding an apple. It’s just not right. Sigh. The troubles of me, I know, I know.
No, I had something else to see him about. In 2004 I had an emergency appendectomy so I have a stomach scar that is around 8 inches long.. from my belly button to my nether regions. Not to get into the too much information category but fuck it, we’re all friends, right? If this offends you or makes you feel sad pants, click the X in the corner. Be gone with you.
Alright, still here? Coo… James’ Anatomy time.
So I have this awesome scar. I tell people I was attacked by a shark. What’s fucked… some people believe it.
??????
Do they know what a shark looks like? Yeah Skippy, it’s a single row of teeth. Fumb duck. I love smart people.
The scar never bothered me really, but it’s larger then normal, they didn’t sew me up when done removing my appendix because of the onslaught of poison in my system. So every two hours, a nurse would come in and remove poison over and over. It was gross, and yes, I have photos to back it up.

So moving to now.. I’ve always wanted to in and have the Doc cut out the old, make the scar smaller. So I go in, and he tells me that I have a problem with my fascia as well. The Fascia is tissue that helps muscles do their gig. It is all over your abs, your abdominal region etc. Mine, has become pushed out about 75-80% further then it should be. So all this time I figured I needed to lay off the Pizza… turns out Doc thinks I’m fit as a fiddle, but my fascia needs to be altered. He says he can open me up to do the scar, and while in there, fix the fascia and I loose about 3 inches off my stomach.
White area is the fascia (in the middle area of the pic)

I’m not fat by any means, but yeah, I was thinking I was getting chunky. Doc told me I could stand to lose 5 pounds, 10 if I wanted over the next 10 years to remain healthy but the stomach isn’t fat, it’s the fascia being screwed from the way the last surgeon did their work when my appendix went kaboom. That guy went in fast and furious and fucked up my shit inside basically.
Ah well, I’m alive.
So..on the way home, I stop at the mail box and oh look what came!


Yeah yeah, I bought the trilogy. Poor Bryci.. she loved the movies but not so sure she’ll sit through a Transformer Sunday. We’ll have to see what I can do to get some brownie points. Maybe… make her brownies!!
Then to top the day off, I bought a new book today. Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson. The book hits shelves on Monday of next week but you can buy the electronic version now on Kindle or iBooks.

Amazon link — click here I would link the iBooks version but truth be told, Kindle is where it’s at when you’re reading ebooks.
I am only a few pages into this book but it’s a great read so far. Apparently nothing was off limits. So this is a tell all basically. Haters gonna hate, fuck em.

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