For the past 2 weeks, I have been shooting @Bryci, @KatieBanks and @TaliaShepard in Arizona.

This blog is my first blog for the past four or five days, as I have been traveling, and then getting back into the flow of work.

Grab a drink my friend, this bitch be a loooong post.

So, where do I start? Some of these photos were already seen on the blog, so some of you have seen these, well, some.. others have not. This is why you know how to scroll the fuck down.

——– shall we begin? ————

When we left Alberta, June 8th, the weather was like this – rainy, cloudy, overall shitastic. yaaaay clouds.

Flying into Phoenix, Arizona, the weather is a lot nicer.. in fact, I think I saw part of a cloud once in the entire 15 days we were there.

We land at Sky Harbor and I figure… I wonder, for a rental car if I can get a Camaro again? In November 2010 when we went to Las Vegas to have a mini break, we got this yellow Camaro..

So when I saw the chance to have some more fun… in Arizona, I grabbed it. In AZ they gave me a black Camaro.

Fuck you, Bumblebee.

Sadly, an automatic (dur, it’s a rental) but it had paddle shift, with ‘sport mode’ where you could turn off traction control. Could it spin tires? Fuck yes. Of course, law of rental cars, treat them like gold, like you’d want your car treated.

bahahahaha yeah, riiiiight.

So we get to shoot house one. Tons of marble everywhere, kind of museum like I guess? Large mirrors, stone tables, shit you could imagine miserable kids growing up around.

Don’t touch the furniture Fredrick, or Mommy will be cross at you!

Not sure what it is with Arizona and marble floors. We’ve been in three shoot house, and all three, wall to wall travertine marble. That shit isn’t cheap either.

View from location one’s patio outdoors… click to enlarge

So we go to bed night one, ready to kick ass on day two. Before going to bed, I am outdoors and I sort of catch something out of the corner of my eye moving. I am barefoot on the patio, keep in mind. I jump two feet forward, into the sliding glass opening where the door was a second ago. I flip a switch and what do I see? A big ass scorpion. I grabbed a 12 ounce glass to show you the size, in relation.. this sucker was an easy 3 inches. It’s the small one you need to worry about. This one would have hurt like fuck, but I wouldn’t have died.

Yes, I let him go, what else was I going to do? heh

So we go to bed, ready for day one of shooting. Next day we’re shooting and WTF IS IT WITH POOL GUYS? The first shoot of the day. Bryci is in the doorway of this place and sure as shit, the pool guy comes driving up the driveway. Did he see something? Not sure, but this white ass Canadian is standing there with pro camera gear in hand. that probably looked normal.

Later that day, I took a break to grab some water with B and we saw a couple lizards outside. These were decent sized lizards too. The first one, prob 1.5 feet in size, he’s on red stone below. The second.. about two feet in size.

Yes, that was damn cool. The guy told us Bobcats were also in the area, but we didn’t see any.

So after day one shooting, no scorpions, just some great pix and a couple lizards. That night we’re getting ready for bed and Bryci yells for me. I go hauling ass into the bathroom, she is standing their naked, toothbrush in her mouth, pointing at the wall above the bathtub, this is the bathroom off the master bedroom, about twenty feet from where we sleep. Well, were we USED to sleep. More on that later.. (click for larger)

So we decide right then and there, FUCK THIS PLACE. Yes we’d paid a pretty penny to stay here and shoot here, but seriously.. Scorpions? Fuck everything about this place. We start packing like crazy people, shaking our clothes out to be sure nothing is hiding. We’re watching the scorpion on the wall to be sure the fucker hasn’t left and started his journey towards us. Not that he would but we’re Canadian, what the fuck do we know about killer scorpion attack plans?

FUCK THIS PLACE.

We’re almost done packing, we look and the little fucker was gone.

GONE.

I don’t think we’ve scuttled so god damn fast in our lives. hahahaha You’d have figured us for ten year olds. Sure we were laughing but still.. time to get the fuck and gone.

On the way out, what do we find on the wall beside the door?

Awesome.

FUCK THIS PLACE x 11111111010101010101010101010101

So we jump in the Camaro, it’s 2:00am on Thursday night/Friday morning. Fuck. So much for shooting tomorrow.

We don’t get the next shoot house for a week. Son of a bitch. Where are we going to stay? We know Talia and she’s got her own pad… I wonder if she’d mind if we crashed on her floor? No, we can’t impose.. not cool… so we hit good ol Google maps via le iPhone and we settle on the Hyatt Inn nearby.

For the next week, we were forced to relax, not shoot, take it easy. After five to six months of fighting with getting the new Bella network online, dealing with server malfunctions, needing to replace new blades, needing to change the way things run because we expect more and want our members to get the very best bang for the buck… (run on, yes, I know)… this was a much needed and appreciated break.

Best part of the break?

Relaxing poolside with my lady. The whiplash effect from the guys hating me was worth every penny that room cost. Only $80/night, a steal really. heh

About a block from where we stayed, we were introduced to the single best barbecue restaurant I have ever eaten at. Well, either of us have ever eaten at. Famous Dave’s Barbecue.

Sweet baby jesus. If you have a chance to eat here, so it. Do it yesterday. Google that shit and see if one is near you. Seriously.

half order of ribs, corn, sweet bread, beans with pork and brisket and their cole slaw. The best slaw I have ever eaten. Fuck me, mouth is watering thinking about it. This stuff was so good, on our first night there, we got an extra side of slaw to go back to the hotel room with. Yes, THAT good.

So week one is coming to an end, Bryci and I caught Super 8 and the Cinemark 16 in Mesa, ate at Dave’s four times? Did some shopping at Chandler Fashion Square, Scottsdale Fashion Square and some other mall near Scottsdale who’s name escapes me… Paradise Valley mall I think? Picked up some new clothes at Buckle and a few other places, a kick ass blanket at Zgallerie (best cool store in the states I think for decorating your digs).

Katie was due in shortly… the Camaro wasn’t going to be big enough to fit us all with bags and what not. We needed something bigger.

Soccer Mom time.

Cadillac SRX. Leather seats though… let me tell you, these sucked ballsack on days like this: (F / C)

So once Katie had arrived, we were off to shoot house two. Nice place, more marble then the other two shoot houses (one from Jan 2011 and the other from the prior week) combined. This was supposedly an 11 million dollar home but I think more like a 3 or 4 million dollar home at best. Really nice but over the top in a lot of ways.

Rich people. Fucking assholes. heh

I can’t show the inside just yet… that will come out in sets as they are released.

The street of shoot house 2.

We didn’t see a scorpion thankfully. We did though see a lot of spiders, centipedes and smaller lizards.

Yes, he is furry. Be afraid. be very afraid.

This sucker is venomous, enough to kill small rodents, rabbits etc. If he bites a human, you get anti-venom or in time, lose that limb. Win. They get to 8 inches in size, this guy was around 6 inches. slow, interesting, I caught him indoors and brought him outdoors.

Outside I came across this little guy…

Tiny, but cool just the same. Also, faaaast.

This, is a boobie shirt. It stops waiters dead in their tracks. Also, waitresses. Also, guys holding iPhones taking phot…er..nothing. Actually I’m pretty sure Bryci snapped this pic while I was off at the bar grabbing more refreshments.

Then… later that night…

Yes, we’re dorks. meh. Gotta have fun

So Katie left and Talia arrives for some shooting. Talia and I talked and she told me she wanted to raise her game. She wanted to shock a few people so we came up with some ideas. Jesus fuck. When you see what is coming… daaaaaaamn. That’s allI can say.

I want to show you some Talia candids but we never took any We were too busy shooting and then we felt sick from Dominos Sorry tdawg.

So, for those of you that think Arizona is soft and cuddly.. may I present your death?

click for larger

2560 wide

awesome aloe vera plant. Yes, larger then a six foot fence.

So I am shooting away, random pix for my Mom mostly.. and I hear a noise of rustling coming from behind me. Given the bullshit bugs we’d encountered and the night earlier we ran into a wild bobcat walking through the yard, the size of one that would reach your knee easily… I was like… oh shit.. what now..

I turn and hold the camera at waist level and hold down the shutter button, moving into high speed capture mode. 9 frames per second… snap snap snap snap…

FINALLY.

I can deal with fucking rabbits.

So we’re done. We bring Talia home, and then B and I decide to catch the Green Lantern, again, Cinemark 16.

What a smoldering piece of shit this movie was. Save your $$. Trust me on this.

Final day… we pack and we hit the airport. I get the wise idea to just have my camera out, snapping random, unframed, unfocused pix. Ok.. I framed a couple.. you can guess which ones. These are random pix ala Phoenix Sky Harbor airport, taken on June 24th, 2011.

We’re on the plane waiting and one person stands out above the rest when looking out through yonder window pane..

Pedro. He told me I could call him Pedro btw. Well, he sent the thought to my brain. Some dolphin shit he picked up swimming from Cuba or… wait.. this isn’t Florida… fuck… anyway…

Pedro didn’t want to do YMCA alone. He invited his friends but did they show? Fuck no. Fuck no they did not show.

Did this stop Juan Carlos Pedro Gonzalez from getting the fuck down?

Neigh.

Pedro showed us his M with all his might.

You go on with your bad self Gonzo, you fucking rock our world.

for those of you that think I’m a racist asshole, fuck you. Twice. It’s a joke, Sally, simma down nah

So we’re on the way back to Canada, eh. THANK FUCK. So tired. No more big ass exotic bugs that can do better algebra than I can. Fuck that noise. When a centipede knows how to divide by zero, RUN. RUN far. RUN fast.

I have the sun shade drawn, Bryci and I are sleeping as much as we can. 3 hour flight, not a big thing but still.. sleeping and waking when you’re there or watching sat tv, pissing in a 3 x 3 cubicle. Hmmm… tough call. Bits and Bites? Fuck yes I’ll take bits and bites.

I open the shade and look…

Ah yes. them be clouds. Them be praires. We are almost home. Sigh. heart flutters… ty ty ty ty for not crashing.

As we’re landing, and I have an iPhone video of the take off from AZ as well as the landing in Alberta if interested… I hear this little kid in the front go.. I HOPE WE DON’T CRASH!

fuck you small child. fuck you straight to hell.

Upon getting home and opening our bags… oh look.

Uncle Sam stopped by to fondle my underwear, wear them on his head and prance around the room like a nancy boy.

LOOK AT ME, I’M A TSA AGENT. OOoooooooooooo

Awesome face commencing in 3…3…3…er…2….1… hey, fuck you, I’m tired.

This post took me 20 minutes. It’s late. 12:51am to be specific. My ass needs restola.

I made the mistake of ordering Dominos pizza last night. Terrible doesn’t cover it. The food tasted alright going in, but once in.. OMFG stomach aches. Bryci and Talia Shepard also ate pizza and like me, they had a shitastic night because of Dominos pizza. All three of us, tossing, turning, tummy aches etc.

Fuck you Dominos.

I woke at 5 because of you, and figuring the only saving grace was water, fruit, healthy options I jumped in the rental car and headed to Fry’s grocery in Scottsdale to grab some supplies. The *only* upside of the shitty night was that I got to witness a desert sunrise, something I’d never seen. Looked the same as anywhere else I guess, but with cactus. :/

So now I sit here, 9:16, feeling like death. I went back to bed after Fry’s and slept on/off for the next three hours but still, I feel like ballsack so I am going to go crash again. Talia just came out, ready to work but she also felt like balls so I sent her back to bed to recoup.

Dominos, you sucking fuck.

Today I filmed Talia Shepard as she showed how much she loves Cadillacs. The windows were up, the heat was boomin in the through the windows. The girl made a HD video that will surely turn a head or three.

Fahrenheit / Celsius

Was it hot? FUCKING rights it was hot.

When we got out of the Caddy, we were both sweating like mad. My shirt was drenched, droplets coming off my head.. damn. Shit got warm in there for sure. I made sure the video camera didn’t get dripped on, but that’s about the only thing that didn’t get dripped on. haha

Seriously, when you see this video…

god.damn.motherfucker.

So anyway…. Katie Banks has gone home. We took her shopping yesterday, then she flew home last night. I got to go to Apple heaven in Chandler as well.

Talia came over last night, we hit up Garcia’s in Tempe for some eats and then we shot all day today and then tomorrow, we do it all over again. Cranking out sets, videos etc. Talia goes home tomorrow night, and B and I might catch a movie.. not sure yet. Tomorrow, is the final day of this adventure.

Then I get home and yes, get back to work, finishing up the Bella network. Some kick ass changes in store.. fuck yes we’re turning up the heat. I hope you’re all kicking ass and taking names, I hope this blog finds you happy, healthy and safe.

take care muchachos.. we will talk again..

I need a fucking cape.

I need a cape and a psychotic stare. Pretty sure this isn’t a cape but it could be. I’d be Clark Fucking Kent of the photo world. Hell yes, all the models would want to shoot with me and by shoot with me, I mean grab ma’ junk.

So today.. great day. I shot Bryci and I also cleaned the pool so I could go swimming. Fuck yes.

Bryci also came swimming.. here’s a shot of her cannonballing me.

Of course… I had to do a cannonball myself and attempt to destroy the camera.

Apparently, not as waterproof as I’d have liked.

So tomorrow, back at it.. today we got some amazing sets done. I think members of http://bryci.com are going to be very, very pleased. Well, members of the Bella network being that you join one site, you get access to all the sites.

Now, I must eat. Hope you’re all doing great!

So it can be warm down here in Arizona… #captainobvious

Celcius for the non United States people… and then of course, Fahrenheit for you United States peeps. I would have said Americans but *technically*, Canadians are Americans just as much as United States people are Americans.

North America, yo. #Represent.

So.. yeah, warm down here but it’s a different kind of heat. Not muggy, it’s a dry heat much like a tanning bed. If you’ve been to Biba Las Begas, you know what I mean. Same shit, minus the guidos and guidettes.

This pic of Bryci was shot at the hotel we were at before shoot house. I’d post shoot house pix but no… not yet. They will come, I promise. =)

Today was a good day… I shot Katie Banks all day, we did 8 sets, we could have done more but lighting and hunger won out. So we’re off shooting and wouldn’t ya know it? B is shooting videos for her site (bryci.com for the newbs), candid girl next door style.. kind of hot . In addition, taking snaps of herself, tweeting away. Man, <3 this lady. Yes, she’s the sexy. After five years together, each and every day I am more attracted to her. Not for the reasons you’d think though… looks as they say, skin deep. It’s what’s underneath that has me loving her. Her brain, her heart, her compassion towards others. She’s truly an amazing woman.

So tonight we went to grab some food with Katie after shooting. We googled Famous Daves and sure enough, we found ourselves eating there once again. Famous Dixie works too much me thinks, she has been there each and every time we’ve eaten there. To the point we walked in and she was.. HEY! She remembered me.. I suppose the arm tattoo didn’t exactly help hide me as someone she’d forget. Ah well, great food, good drinks, what more could you want?

So tomorrow, Saturday… Katie and I are back at it. I have a bunch of ideas for shooting. Today’s sets were easily the best stuff we’ve ever shot together. The more we work together, I think the easier it is because of course, we start to learn each other’s signs etc. We can feed off one another, and plus, it’s fun making her laugh. =)

So it’s late, 1:01am on Friday night… I guess it’s now Saturday… ack. Time to get some sleep me thinks.