If you’re a lady reading this…. and you laugh…

after reading this comic, I know you have a sense of humor and you will not hunt me down. Thank you. I wasn’t laughing. I don’t think it’s funny. No, I don’t think…er.. I do think…er..

nevermind.

Fishers, wherever you are… Merry Christmas.

This @MacLethal666 motherfrucker is crazy, yo. Throw your panties on the stage.

Seriously. Never before have I wanted pancakes. Fucker has a stack and I got none.

also.. check out Mac’s cousin Bennett. – http://textsfrombennett.tumblr.com/

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
  3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
  5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
  7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
  8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people!  My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
          
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.   I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.   

Bastards

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.   However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.   The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him  communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.  

For now…………….

You need to go here and laugh laugh laugh aaaaand repeat. http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

This is the last day of the week and every damn day, I have worked until 5:00am minimum. So most of the day, into the night, boom… sleep? who needs it?

As a kid inside an adult’s body.. this photo is so full of confusion it’s not funny.

Then, on the other side of that coin… eww.. this is creepy. Maybe even a little disturbing.

Alright, let’s move along, shall we?

Will the countries of the world that DON’T use Metric please stand up?

No, seriously, sit your backward asses back down. Come on people, get with the program.

Leader of White Supremacist movement meets a woman, falls in love. She changes his Nazi ass and he gets his tats removes, has a child and smartens the fuck up. Change can happen. Laser tattoo removal is no picnic folks, it hurts like getting kicked in the balls with a steel toed boot, with a three inch spike on the end. Yeah, like that.

This sign made me smile. I always got a laugh of morons that would say a woman dressing a certain way calls a certain kind of asshole to her and if she gets attacked, she was asking for it. No, no she wasn’t. My own personal take on the topic? Cut their balls off. Watch how fast rape is a moot point in society.

Friday means cheat day for junk food if we wish. Hmmmm.. whatever shall I have?

I like this guy.

wow. sick. awesome ending though. (click to read)

Eat better to…

Lastly. I FUCKING LOVE THE LAKE!

Last but not least… an oldie but a goodie..

Happy Friday people!

Follow my ass on twitter if you’re gay for me. http://twitter.com/james_dot