So I was standing in a rather large line at my local Wal-Mart today behind a couple families that I know from when I went to church with my family in year younger. It was the only register open so there wasn’t much of another option to get my 12 pack of Mountain Dew for a party I was heading to. I was wondering why the line was going nowhere when I decided to poke my head up front to see what the holdup was. It was a little old lady who didn’t have enough for her groceries and she was trying to talk the cashier into letting her get away with being short. This struck me as odd until I found out she was a mere $0.21 short of her purchase. Now all these families were just staring and there was even two making fun of her. I walked up and handed my soda to the cashier, handed him a $5 and told her to keep the change. One of the middle aged women (I knew these people, so I also knew that they all make over 6 digits) grabbed her kid and yelled very loudly, “See that man? He’s acting just like Jesus wants us to.” For some reason this set me off, so I turned around. I haven’t shaved in awhile so I’m rocking some nice scruff, a Slayer shirt, and gym shorts, so it must have been a nice sight. Very loudly, I said “Like Jesus? Ma’am I’m an atheist who makes minimum wage and I was the one who stepped up to help her? Your hypocritical Christianity is an inspiration to us all.” As I stormed out, a couple of the cart boys started to whistle and cheer, soon shoppers joined in and even the cashier. I gave a wave and went off with a feeling of accomplishment.

Fuck yes.

I try and give benefit of the doubt but sometimes.. you just want to laugh. I see the things some people say to model sin twitter and it makes me speechless. Some of the rudest things and to these whack jobs tweeting it, it’s allowed. I think they figure because nobody knows who they are they can be assholes and who cares. I get that, but at the same time, wow, how does it feel to me a smoldering pile of shit for a human being?

I laugh at the losers posting shitty comments because well, they’re losers. Dur.

We all get an opinion but if you need to feel better about yourself by insulting a model, you need to get out more buddy. Maybe you’re angry at the world or something, maybe you can’t get laid or you’re poor or you’re just ina shit place in life but come the fuck on.. cyber bitching at a model that posts free pix for you to enjoy makes about as much sense as jumping off the balcony to see if you can fly. You never know right? Try it, you might fly.

So this morning I am reading the tweets and this one model I follow that has a kick ass sense of style and humor, Aaliyah Love, starts to go off on the clowntards she has to deal with. I asked her if I could post this.. she said sure thing.

After reading this.. I message Aaliyah Love..

So here we are.

I have seen this time and time again and writing this blog post won’t do shit other than provide 2 minutes reading. The same clowns that do this shit will continue to do this, because they’re idiots basically. It’s unreal to me how many people write in to the Bella ladies in the support sections of the sites.

SEND ME PHOTOS!

WHERE IS PUSSY AT?

IS MY WEBCAM ON BB? CHECk IT OUT BB. YOU WILL LIKE

HAVE YOU SEEN MY SHOES?

Seriously some mixed up people. The best are the guys that call girls BB. Serious fucking ly. Get over the BB thing for fuck’s sake. It makes you look retarded. is that simple enough to grasp?

Here’s some inside info for you if you regularly chat with cam girls.. consider these tips if you will.

1) Never say BB. Never. Ever. EVER.

2) Always tip as much as you can before requesting ANYTHING. Tipping 5-10 tokens basically says, I don’t give a fuck about you. One token in MFC equals 5 cents. That’s five pennies. So when you tip 10 tokens, you’ve given her .50 cents. You think this earns you anything? Pffft. think again buddy. Unless the girl is fat and ugly, the only thing a ten token tip will get you is banned from most rooms.

I appreciate you may not be rich, wealthy, loaded etc but if you’re going to ask a model to bend over and show you her starfish, you’d best compensate her for doing so, ya know? 200 token minimum sort of thing. Even then that’s only $10 in her pocket.

If I was a model, aside form the obvious superior windmill swinging technique you’d be jelly of (I have a dick, you work it out), I wouldn’t be very popular with the cheap mofos because I’d ban people that piss me off. In doing so, I’d be labeled a bitch all because I stand up for myself.

Why is that anyway, do you know? If a guy says something shitty, trying to be “funny” and the model hands him his ass… she’s a bitch.

This makes no sense. If you’re able to throw comments, you should be able to take them as well. If it’s her room and you’re disrespecting her, why would you be shocked when she bans you? Walk up to some lady at the supermarket and try thats hit, see what happens okay princess?

Excuse me BB, show me tits.

Yeah, try that at Safeway. Let me know how it goes for you.

Anyway, just wanted to blog this, it made me smile. Keep rocking  Aaliyah Love, we’ll be watching and cyber high-fiving you.

I saw this pic online, seemed pretty much dead on. I’m not one for labels, because let’s face it.. the nerds rule the world if you look at things. (Gates, Jobs, Ellis, Zuckerberg etc etc etc)

I am sad when I see a pretty girl going out of her way to look like a dork so she’ll be considered ‘cool’ or in. I had someone recently ask if Bryci would do a nerdy girl photo shoot. While we love ideas and we take suggestions from time to time.. in my experience models like to feel attractive. Dressing up with tape on glasses, nerdy shirt etc.. isn’t hot, it’s desperation for lolz (in my opinion). Generally the only models that quirk it up and go out of their way to wear odd shit that isn’t fap worthy.. are the ones looking for their own identity or desperate for capturing a niche because someone told them geeks/nerds is an untapped market. I know of a few models that do this, but they’ve always done it.. it’s their thing. They are genuine in it.

Here’s what I mean and again, my opinion..

When it comes to models online, I think where they succeed or fail online, is if they are real or not. If a girl says she is a hardcore gamer, she should have some video game knowledge, ya know? No, I know who Mario is doesn’t count. If you play the quirky angle and that’s you and has always been you, kick ass. No issue with genuine people, if anything, much respect for you for being you. If you tell me you know football because you’re a football girl but when asked who played in last year’s Superbowl… you look at me stunned… this is sort of what I mean.

Here’s an example.. when I met Katie Banks for the first time, we talked and somehow in convo, she mentioned how she loves BSG (Battlestar Galactica). This is a sci-fi space series and well, if I was to ask ten hot girls what BSG is, I’d wager 9/10 would look at me without a clue. Not trying to dumb down pretty girls, but BSG isn’t mainstream for hot ladies. Fair to say? To be fair, if I asked 10 random guys what BSG is, I bet the majority are clueless as well.

Katie though, genuinely *IS* a BSG fan. She wasn’t just talking the talk to be cool, trendy, current. Feel free to quiz her, ask her questions, she knows her Starbuck and then some. (no, not Starbucks, that’s a coffee chain. thxforplayingplscomeagain

As a guy I think we’re used to hot women doing this or that to stay in the spotlight, get our attention etc. Not all hot women are like this of course, many just don’t give a shit.. they are themselves and if you like, great, if you don’t, great. Some continually change their style to try and stay current and I guess if that’s you, bonus for you? The hot girl needing to wear oversized hipster glasses and dress quirky so she’ll be looked at is beyond me. I don’t understand it. I want to understand it, I just don’t.

Okay.. went from wtf is a hipster and why do they dress this way to talking about how some people fake who they are or what they like.. umm… two different topics. Good morning JD without caffeine, how are you? I am fine, thank you for asking. I digress..

This is how I see Hipsters. Who really cares right? If they’re happy, fantastic! Who cares what this person does, what that person does in the end. I’m just acknowledging the humor in posers I guess. Meh, nobody is perfect. If you want to wear yellow and call yourself Pokemon, fucking party on, son.

Alright, rant done.

also, I want this along with levitation socks to get me to/from water.

Oh yeah.. not saying if you wear glasses you’re a geek/nerd/hipster. I think most people wear contacts or glasses.

One of my favorite quotes: “Everything popular is wrong” – Oscar Wilde

This is true in my opinion.

We’ve somehow become a society of sheep. So concerned with the wrong things, what you’re driving, what you’re wearing, where you live. How many square feet? How many bathrooms? Is it fast? Does it have leather seats?

Sigh.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Is it just me or are people assholes for the most part? Nobody says please, thank you, nothing. Canadians get teased for being polite. This somehow makes sense to you? If you’re an American and you think it’s funny Canadians are nice, you just might be an asshole. You’re aware of this right?

Sweet, there’s something to be proud of.

BE THE CHANGE

If you’re tired of people being shitty to you, how about you stop sucking? If you haven’t noticed yet, we learned this as babies and we still do it today. We mirror what is in front of us. If you look crabby, people think you’re crabby. If you look happy, you’re perceived as being happy.

(or stoned, drunk, on meds, meh… same diff)

YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE

Why is this not common sense? Everyone is so sure the world is out to get them.

Newsflash – the world doesn’t give two squirts of piss about you. The only one that has your back, IS YOU.

I’m not jaded, I’ve just been around enough to see this as being true. Feel free to correct me if you feel otherwise.

Put positivity out there and oh snap, would you look at that? I am getting positivity back.

This rant isn’t being negative, this rant is a wake up call for some. It was what woke me up not too long ago.

I will without question have at least one message, one email, one phone call asking me if this blog was about that person.

This blog is not about you. This blog is not about you. This blog is not about you. This blog is not about you.

Capiche?

This blog is a collection of utter bullshit I’ve endured over the past month or two. I am tired of hearing people bitch and moan about how rough things are. You have a computer, you have internet, you most likely have a roof over your head. You want to talk rough? Go check out the people with no job to support their families. The people that are back from the war and the banks have foreclosed on their home. The kids with no food in their bellies. The homeless dude down the street that can’t feed his dog.

Go ahead, tell me how your life sucks. No, wait, don’t.

Life might be hard for you right now, but come on, you’re fine. Pick up your shit and get it together.

I’ve been there myself, hardships, shitty things, life deals you a hand you never saw coming. It sucks. It really, truly does but who cares? It’s survival of the fittest and last time I had a story to bitch and moan about, i don’t recall getting paid for it. I do recall getting evicted though or having my lights shut off because I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I forgot the very basic way life works. You need to work to survive.

Again, NO I am not talking about you. I am recounting my personal life here. If it matches yours in the past, present or future… fucking fantastic!

I can give you some advice and if you are smart and follow it, you’ll be a-okay.

Stop.

Just stop the pattern you’re doing. Keep doing the same thing, how are things going to change?

Benjamin Franklin scribed – “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”

^ ^ ^ THIS ^ ^ ^

You are the only one that can change things. So.. umm.. change things.

Pick up the pieces, rebuild, you’re going to be fine. Hate to sound cheesy, but you have to believe to achieve.

Yes, things will be hard, that’s how it works. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it, wouldn’t they?

A phrase I like to tell myself.. Leader or Follower. Which are you?

The greatest thing about each day we’re given (and we are given these days, you should never expect them, they’re a gift, use them wisely) is that you get to choose if you’re going to lead the way or follow others.

Hint – FUCK FOLLOWING OTHERS.

Most others are so fucked up, lost in their Facebook status update or keeping up with the Joneses.. you’re better off Leading. Trust me.

Strong people are rare but if you’re still reading, I have a feeling you’re either one of them already or you have the ability to be one of them.

So what’s stoping you? You clearly have a computer, internet, electricity. So what’s your story? Time to start kicking ass?

I’d say yes.

Okay, enough with the rantavitional speech. (new word, feel free to use it as needed. Rant + Motivational = Ranivational)

Time for random shit.

10 RANDOM THINGS INSIDE MY HEAD (now in my blog)

Uncensored, the way things in life should be

Alright people.. I am outty. Time to go spend the evening with my better half.

Again, I was not talking about you. If your life is sucking, change it. It’s not impossible, what’s impossible is dealing with the mindset that change is impossible. If life is fucked, does it matter what you do? Pick one thing, change it. You’ll see it’s easier than you think.

Make sense?

Lastly, tempting as it might be, yellow snow is NOT LEMONADE SNOW.

Avoid the temptation.

I’m shocked someone hasn’t pulled this guy out of his truck yet.

Back on September 8th I wrote a blog about photographers I had encountered. I suppose in many ways this blog will rehash or almost say the same shit over, but it needs to be said again.

Why don’t I have a Model Mayhem account? Well, put simply? Too much drama.

There are some professionals on the website and those people are great. There are some professional photographers, models, make up people and others that have my respect to the fullest extent possible. It’s supposed to be a place where models and photographers can find common ground, get organized etc. Sounds simple right?

Instead what ends up happening is something like this…

Photographer with limited portfolio or flat out not very good (perhaps he just started to be fair) will message the hottest models he can find.

Most will ignore him because they feel he simply isn’t good enough to capture them the way they wish to be shot.

I myself think this is fair, we all are allowed to have demands when it’s our image, right?

Then the models sweet enough to respond, saying no thanks for whatever reason, get shit on.

Joe Blow photographer comes unglued and starts insulting the model or her previous work.

This somehow makes sense to this cluster fuck? wow.

Photographer guy – listen up.

If you are starting out, shoot EVERYTHING you can, you’ll gain experience and comfort behind the lens in real world situations. This will show in your portfolio and it will land you opportunities.

If you’re experienced and you’ve been doing it for a long time, learn the following – if someone says they don’t want to work with you, be polite and gracious. Maybe next time sort of thing. Where the fuck in your world does it make sense to shit on a model? These ladies talk to one another. They also may need someone down the road and maybe if you were extra nice, you’ll be the guy that surpasses the assholes that shit on her when she said no in the first place.

Common sense is calling. Answer the fucking phone already.

Seriously. This shit drives me batshit crazy.

I hear stories from many girls I know in and from MM and it’s always this exact same story.

A model bruises your gentle man ego and you go apeshit.

Welcome to being every other dumb ass out there with a camera that THINKS he’s a photographer.

In my opinion, being a photographer isn’t just about what you shoot, who you shoot, how you shoot. It’s about your bedside manor (so to speak). How to interact with the people you work with. How you pay it forward.

We’re all students of life, regardless of our trade. Be it a model, a photographer, a make up tech. Nobody is below you and nobody is above you, we’re all the same.

When you shit on someone, THAT WILL COME AROUND. <– read this again, twice.

So if you chose to use MM, do so knowing the “competition” in there isn’t really competition because most of the photographers in there have egos the size of football fields.

They use Photoshop with actions or filters to manipulate the image and they think this makes them awesome because a bunch of people that don’t know about actions or filters told them they have made talent.

No Skippy, you don’t.

You aimed a camera, you clicked. You imported into Lightroom, played with levels, exported over to Photoshop, added filters or actions. Bam. End product and no, you didn’t shoot it that way. You created it and props to you for having the ability/talent in that lightroom/photoshop arena but note.. this does not make you a kick ass photographer. It makes you someone talented in after effects, perhaps but if your attitude is pure shit.. what good are you? Who will work with you once they hear you suck? Bad mouthing models will burn your bridges pretty fast.

I don’t have a MM account because I don’t want to deal with whiney little bitches that shoot down every photo THEY didn’t take.

Oh, that needs work.

Oh, that is bad composition.

Oh, can I haz sex with you?

To the pros in MM, I salute you. I salute you for having the wherewithal to put up with the guys that bought a camera to see naked boobies and now they figure they’re professional photographers because they found someone to pose for some photos and they created a MM account. I salute the hell out of you pros.

I have met more then my share of these guys. It’s scary. Being humble is where it’s at, but maybe 1 in 5 is this way. the other 4 in 5… pfffftt.. I could have done better type attitude.

Myself? I’m a rookie as far as I am concerned. Yes, a rookie. I’ve been shooting 16 years and I’ve been lucky enough to shoot over 300 ladies and I consider myself a rookie.

Yes, I have a degree in photography but it’s from a long ass time ago. I learn something new every time I shoot Bryci or one of the ladies. Somedays I am proud of the work we accomplish. Other times, FML. Do over please? I see things I did wrong, things I could have done better. We’re all students. There are many shoots live in the Bella network I fucking hate that i wish I could have again. I can blame this or that but when you’re the photographer, you have to accept responsibility. The buck stops with you. I often have felt like I let B down when a set doesn’t go the way I wanted it to. It sucks when i had that feeling. I have been fortunate to not have had it for some time, but at the same time.. it might be lurking right round the corner, with our next shoot. Fuck I hope not.

Earlier today I had someone tell me that they feel honored that I help them with their photos. I was like.. honored? Fuck me, why? I’m just a guy like you. Not above you, not below you. Beside you. We’re all students, hopefully learning from one another.

If you’re a photog in MM and you’re reading this, please, for fuck’s sake, be nice if someone says no thanks to you. Common sense.

You will find it goes a LOT further.

Don’t email a photographer talking shit, it doesn’t make you better.

What it makes you, is a shitty human being.

I am going to sound angry in this post. I can assure you I am not. Frustrated at the topic? Sure. It’s frustrating but it is what it is. Ranting about it won’t change shit. My hope is that maybe you yourself know someone in the biz and you look at them a certain way and maybe, just maybe this blog will help you to pull your large cylindrical head out of your ass.

aaaand here we go.

When I run into old friends from high school, I have to change what it is I do, when asked the age old… so what do you do? The odd time I was up front and honest because I figured… well hey, I know this guy well, been friends for years… instantly it’s as if I developed a viral disease or something. Talk to me much longer, you might catch it! Be acquainted with me? Hell no. I was never friends with that guy, I had a math class with him once.

Maybe this is why I hate facebook so much. Keeping up with the Jones’ digitally. Gossip here, status update there. Gossip here and there. bleh. pass. I’m good. Fuck off. Thanks.

People are funny about their porn. They all love it, when they are in control of it and it’s behind closed doors or in the safety of their terms. Yet tell someone you work in porn and suddenly I’m somehow less then they are. I’m a low life in their eyes. I’m a smut peddler for crying out loud. Ruuuuuun Forrest, Ruuuuun!

Yet, they crave what I provide. umm.. what?

I am sure I sound jaded and someone bitter, and perhaps you’re right, I am. I have been shunned by those I trusted in the past because of what I do. So what is it I do exactly? If I was working in the San Fernando Valley in California, aka Porn Valley, then I would understand. If I ran a studio where girls came and went, fucking and sucking daily… fine, I’m one of those smut peddlers.

I’m not though. I photograph women that consent to be photographed. I build websites from said photos and videos. I supply beauty to those that request it. Am I really in the same conversation as the guy that just ass fucked an 18 year old for $300 so he can sell that clip to 500 websites as anal content?

For many, yes. Yes I am the same guy. I’m apparently no better then this guy, yet when they want their fix… who do they call? Well, they don’t call me but they visit my websites. So I’m good enough at 2:00am, gotcha.

As such I don’t tell people what I do. Why should I? Would you? Would you openly admit what you do if you were me? Knowing ahead of time there is a better then good chance the person you’re speaking to is going to look down their nose at you? Nobody has had the balls to say this sort of thing to my face, but this doesn’t mean it isn’t spoken of. I have been in bars in Calgary where I used to live, hanging with the guys and I’d have a guy walk up to me and be all…HOLY SHIT MAN! You’re that porn guy! I have heard about you! I’m standing there, dumbfounded… not really knowing what the fuck I just heard, if I heard him correctly or more importantly, how to respond.

That porn guy.

I’m a photographer and a website developer, but in the simplest of terms, I’m that porn guy.

In talking to a friend tonight, she had mentioned that even though she is not in the biz anymore, she still gets people asking them about it. People are curious little monkeys, if it’s on their terms. When you come to them though with an answer to their mighty “what do you do for a living” question and the answer is, I work in adult entertainment…

Well holy fuck, strap on the asshole vest, nobody is talking to you ever again.

Well, not to you. They’re going to talk about you behind your backs though. Count on that. I am not so sure that people mean harm when they discuss me or what I do behind my back. It very well might just be they’re talking about me as… whoa, get this shit… (as in, more interesting than.. I picked the kids up from school, Jordan has a cold, Michael was late for piano recital again etc). people want an escape from their boring lives and if you know someone that works in porn, you just gave them the Willy Wonka ticket out of boredom. These motherfuckers now have water cooler conversation for the next few days at least.

You’re welcome.

Sigh.

I’m not a hater, but I am not a fan of being hated on. Who is? When asked now what I do, I tend to implement a little trick I learned from the closest of close friends. Flip it. Quick simple boring answer, followed by a question about THEM.

I work with databases. What do you do? Still only have one child?

People love to talk about themselves.

It sucks that I can’t be honest about what I do. It’s part of the game though, we work in this industry so we have to deal with the stigma that surrounds it. I love what I do though. I get to be me, not work for someone else, set my own rules. Yes, I tend to work a lot more and sure, at times it’s challenging or stressful but what job isn’t?

I’ll tell you I work with databases so you can talk about your kids, sound good?

I’m not a religious person. I try and live by the ‘to each his/her own’ mindset though. I may not agree with your beliefs, but they may be right for all I know.

That said, some religious people are fucking lunatics.

There, I said it. To each their own but when you try and force feed your religion to me, you’d best be prepared to go toe to toe with me on some q and a. I have shot down pastors, missionaries and priests with little more then a handful of questions. It’s easy as pie, because the answer they always turn to is a cop out…“Faith”.

If they can’t answer your question (which usually they can’t) they reply that you need faith. I’d reply they need a better defense then something a six year old retarded kid could dissect. Faith? Really? This is probably a topic for another blog and again, I mean no disrespect. Not trying to piss on your God but again.. some of you, are fucking nuts.

The letter above was left on a guy’s car after he stopped going to church for a couple months.

Apparently Jesus has a time schedule and well, you’re on his clock, beayatch.

One of the biggest reasons I personally have issues. Most if not all religions want us to think we’re alone in life. We’re the only life in the Universe. We’re it. All those hundreds of billions of stars, millions of galaxies etc… yeah, all empty. Neat hey? un huh. Riiight. Oh wait, we can’t prove it so it’s true. I remember now. Also, Dinosaurs.

So we’re alone? You sure?

We are but a small fish in a very. very big sea.

ps.. the earth isn’t flat either.

What the fuck is wrong with people? This somehow makes sense? I know we’re all the same more or less but it’s small things like this that make me question humanity. It’s like when you’re a kid and you ask a really good question that you parents don’t know the answer to. You’re told something like, never-mind and you accept that answer because you trust your parents.

Those kids were trained to accept what they’re told as being true. If someone in ‘authority’ says it, it must be true. It must be alright. Don’t question what you’re told.

pfffft.

We’ve become a world largely populated with sheep that don’t ask questions. Doesn’t this scare the bejesus out of you? If not, WHY NOT? What do you know that I don’t? Let me in your secret. Was it because I didn’t drink the magic facebook punch everyone else seems to love and enjoy so much?

SNAFU – Situation normal, all fucked up.

She’s right, as much as I hate to admit it. I’m doing twenty jobs at once it feels like. When I am not helping this person with that, I’m helping that person with this. Then I get 5 IM’s inside 2 minutes. Super, more people. Nobody means harm of course, I’m a webbie. I’m the go to guy when shit no worky worky. I’m not bitching, although this blog might paint a different picture. I’m merely venting on how life is, at times, a good deal faster then I’d prefer.

Normally, it wouldn’t be. Normally, I have shit under control and then some. Those that know me would tell you, I’ve got my shit together usually. Thing is, in September, we took a week long trip at the start of the month. So that leaves three weeks in the month left over right? Okay.. stay with me, I’m painting a picture of crazy. So this brings us to week two.. we liked where we were, so we decided.. fuck it, let’s move. We came home, and inside 5 days we had a moving truck booked, boxes packed. Two days later, we’re loading, driving, unpacking. Before the third week started, we had up-rooted life and moved several hours away. In one day, drive 3/4 of the day, then unpack a full truck.

Yes, it was a treat and yes, I was sore of awhile. Thanks for asking.

So now.. we’re into October and we’re slowly starting to get situated. We have to learn everything over being that this is a new city, new home, new everything. Trust me when I say, it’s not as easy as it might sound in your head when you tell yourself… pffft, I could do that. Try getting a fork from the kitchen. i dare you. Pick the right drawer… you have a 1 in 4 chance. You’d think you’d remember but no, that’d be far too easy. heh

So here we are, figuring out life, getting caught up. Doing the do. yo, doing the do.

So as I sit here, the day is behind me. It’s almost 6, I have a beer on my desk and life… well, life is good. Better. LIFE IS BETTER.

Tomorrow will be busy, I am getting up early. I have an errand to run for Bryci that will keep me in her good books for at least the weekend.

So I hope your life is going great, thanks for reading the vent-fest that was my day/week/month. If you’re currently waiting on something from me, thank you for your patience. If you haz no patience, kiss my fucking balls. Seriously.

I will leave you with what I am making for dinner shortly.

Carnitas.

chea chea chea cheeeeeaaaaaaaaaa