Archive for the ‘Comics’ Category

Some people are gonads. Seriously. A Gonad is something I shouldn’t need to explain, google it if you’re unsure.

Remember when you were in school, how there were cliques? There were groups of people that dressed the same, ate in the same area of the cafeteria or courtyard. They were cool in their books and if you weren’t one of them, you were the oddball. In school kids were often stereotyped as if they were from the movie The Breakfast Club. A brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal.

Today I met with someone that works for a rather conservative firm. I was interviewing firms to handle our finances. What I got though, was judgement. I don’t have many tattoos, but what I do for a living, coupled with how I look… shaved head, ink on arms.. 6’ 190 lbs..

sigh.

Apparently I don’t off as soft and cuddly. I’m clearly not the guy that will friend you on facebook or for that matter, give a rat’s ass about facebook in the first place. I don’t need your social acceptance badge, and I didn’t ask for it. No, I was asking if you could do your job. Can you do this?

So after 30 minutes of hearing about how drug dealers will launder money and how prostitutes need to pay taxes too. I started to think…

/self, is this uptight straight laced ass muncher really the person you want representing your finances?

It was eye opening to say the least.

I’m not an idiot. I get that I work in the adult industry and many in our society are sheep, doing what is safe, doing what is accepted. Each looking for approval because they have a good job or married a good person etc. if you can’t brag about it on facebook, what good is it?

I’m not one of these people though. I wasn’t asking for special treatment, I was asking if you can do your job without you thinking you know me or anything about me. You tell me how drug dealers launder their money so it’s legal, I understand this, but I’m not a drug dealer, I’m a photographer with years of receipts and bank statements to back it up. I get you have to cover your firm’s reputation but come on. Do you really think opening the conversation about things that any normal intelligent person would be offended by was your best approach?

Here’s how it works if I am hiring you as my accountant. I bring you receipts, you file my paperwork. I pay the bill. We’re done.

What part did I lose you on? I’m not going to your company picnic and I won’t see you in church. You will see me once a year, and I’m paying you for that. Instead, I get you talking down to me because I don’t fit into your social acceptance bubble. Nice. Very professional and oh snap, let’s do brunch. Fuck that. Fuck everything about that. I hated people like you in school, and good to know that even though it’s been many years since school, the cliques very much still thrive.

Ah yes kiddies, it’s great fun being self employed and doing what I do. On the side though, you have to lie to everyone about what it is you do so they can feel safe in their beds at night.

Yes dear, today I met a real life photographer of nude models!

NO! Really?

Yes, really. I barely got out alive.

Suffice to say, gonads. No, you won’t be getting our business. Ass clown.

I love my job and I don’t see it changing, but yes, from time to time you get to deal with clowns that make you feel unsavory. What’s fucked is many of these idiots will later sign up to adult websites but hey, in the office… I don’t know you, you’re a bad, bad man. At home, WHAT IS UP JDOT! U DA MAN!

Fucking neo maxi zoom dweebie (Thanks John Hughes, RIP).

Whatever, it’s over. Neeeeeext!

Upside to today?

Well, that meeting is over. Fuck YES!

Secondly, this arrived in the mail… like the others before it, it goes to the vault for thy unborn child.

Have a great Monday everyone.