I have three sisters. All are half sisters mind you, but I always considered them sisters. I was the youngest by far growing up. When I say by far, I mean.. 15 years difference age wise sort of thing. Pretty sure Mom and Dad were thinking… no way we can get pregnant. Then nine months later, here I am.

So growing up, my sisters looked at me like a burden. Who am I kidding? I completely was a burden to them. They got stuck babysitting me all the time. In their shoes I’d have hated it as well. So as I got older, I started to sense the growing frustration towards me. It sucked but you play the hand you’re dealt. I was always fighting for a word in. Always being the last heard sort of thing. Some of you with older siblings perhaps can identify with this.

When I was 18, I was a pretty big deal. Well, if you asked me I was a pretty big deal. I didn’t have some massive ego, I was a normal 18 year old boy. We think we know it all when in reality, we don’t know shit. To my sisters, I was a know it all pain in the ass. They used to try and impart their knowledge on me because they’d traveled the roads I had yet to travel. They tried to prepare me for the shitstorm that is life. Did I listen? Did you listen when you were told things by your older sisters or brothers? Safe to say that no, I did not listen.

I should have listened but instead, I would heed their warnings and then quietly dispose of them to myself. I’m pretty sure I know how things work. After all, I’m 18. I know things.

Wow. I didn’t know anything.

Looking back from time to time on the journey my life has taken from there to here always astounds me. So many things I didn’t see coming. So many twists and turns, surprise endings as well. I’d script it out but it’d probably be no different then most of your lives. I’ve had an interesting go of things for sure, but all in all.. I wish I’d listened more.

One often hears guys try and solve problems rather than listening. This is true.

If you’re a guy reading this – one piece of advice if I may? LISTEN MOAR.

When you’re young you’re so eager to tackle the world, so eager to take on everyone that you don’t see most of the time those in front of you are not standing in your way, they’re trying to help you.

I wish I could go back and listen to my sisters more. I don’t know that it would have helped me much because we walked different pathes in life but I can’t help but think it would have made me a better person at the very least.

I know my sisters don’t read my blog because truth is, they don’t know about it. (black sheep, wut wut) Still, if they were reading my blog, I’d want them to know I’m sorry for not being a better listener.

Next week. Next week I go to see the motherfucking Avengers.

As for today, Happy Mother’s Day to the Mom’s out there. Your kids will not often appreciate you, and your husbands will often say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, but know you’re loved. Even if your kids and your husband are unappreciative nards from time to time, you’re loved.

I love religious trolling.

Wait, this goes against my Bible so like, it’s wrong and stuff. Like.

So North Carolina voted against gay marriages.

Forgive me for being blunt.. but come on the fuck on. Are we really that concerned with this? Did your Bible tell you this was bad? Really? Did you read the same Bible that tells you to stone women that are not virgins when they get married? How about the same Bible thattells you inking your skin is a sin and you can go to hell for it. No tattoos for you North Carolina.

Wake up Hillbiliies, it’s time to stop thinking about you and start thinking about letting others do what they want. It’s not like people want to fuck on your lawn. Sheesh.

I haven’t been blogging much lately as you may or may not have noticed. Nothing is wrong, I’ve just been very busy. I have though seen many things I wanted to touch on but I felt it wasn’t my place to do so. It’s hard when you see something happening and you know it’s fucked up but if you speak up, you’re putting yourself into someone else’s drama cake and well, why the fuck would you do that? If it has zero to do with you.. walk away.

The adult industry is usually pretty simple if you keep your nose clean (as the saying goes). Be honest, work hard and treat the people you work with well and you’ll do fine. This is not always the case, on occasion you’ll see someone have a meltdown and that’s sad. You know what I am talking about if you follow any number of models on twitter. Some models are rock solid, they’re great people. They work hard, they treat their fans amazingly. They respect the biz because they understand the biz. Some ladies are new to the game and well, annoying because they think because they take their shirt off, this puts them in the same category as someone that has been modelling for years upon years and has crafted their fan base from sweat and tears of hard work.

Protip – Just because you get naked online or have spent 20 hours on MFC – this does not make you a model any more than I’m the fucking Pope because I’ve lambasted Christians in this blog. You’re new, nothing more. Not trying to shit on anyone specific.. but when I see some girl i have not heard of dropping attitude because she doesn’t get as many members or gifts bought or whatever she’s whining about… it makes me shake my head. Think of any job… the longer you do that job, the better you get, the more kind words you get and the more respect you get. Unless you’re a bitch of course. :p

Where was I… oh yeah…

Meltdowns. I am not going to name names because it’s pointless and well, drama. We all have bad days/weeks. It’s human to feel pissed off and want to scream. Sometimes, we scream online and later wish we hadn’t. Happens to the many people, some of these people are models. Some of these people are well known models.

To those out there having meltdowns or on the edge of one, walk away. Just get some distance between the idiot computer and yourself. Find nature, take your dog for a walk etc. Don’t resort to the mentality of a child. You’re better than this. Just walk away for a bit, cooler heads will always prevail. If you believe in Karma in any way, this is a bonus. Karma is real (in my opinions anyway) and yes, it keeps score. If you hate this person or that person, take the higher road. Assume if they’re dishonest or they’re a snake that they will get what is coming to them. This axe swings both ways though… if you’re a debbie or photographer and a model you were working with is lazy or is a bitch or lies about you to many… don’t sweat it, she’ll get what’s coming to her as well. Karma, bitches. Karma.

The biz can be hard. One never knows who is trustworthy, who is full of shit. I keep distance from the biz because you never know who can be trusted and who can’t. I have seen well known models I thought were trustworthy go apeshit on others at the drop of a hat, making themselves part of the drama parade that was going on. That’s not cool. If it doesn’t involve you directly, walk the fuck away. Some models are bat shit crazy, some webbies are bat shit crazy. The truth? We’re all a little bat shit crazy.

We’re all heard stories about this girl, that girl or this debbie and that webbie. The gossip drama game is huge and sadly, many partake. When considering what you’ve heard, one needs to always consider the source. The source is often the dead give away to whether or not you’re hearing anything remotely close to be possible, let alone the truth. Disgruntled employees rarely speak highly of their ex employer or partner. Fact. Disgruntled ex employers/partners generally don’t sing the praises of people that used to work for them or with them either.

How/why this is not common sense is beyond me.

I guess what I am saying here, don’t believe everything you hear, or do believe everything you hear. Whatever works for you. People form their own opinions and then fashion a storyline in their head to support their opinion. How factual it is doesn’t matter.

Bryci and I keep distance from the industry and for good reason. We’re happy though so we must be doing it right. We get offers to go here, go there.. shoot with this person or that person and it’s not that we’re not interested, it’s just that we’re trying to live a full life and that life is not adult industry based. What we do in the adult game is our job. What we do in our personal life is just that, our personal life. We’re good friends with a handful of people in the biz, that’s it. That’s enough.

When you leave work, do you leave it at the office or take it home 24/7 with you? If you take it home 24/7 with you, you can relate that the shift gets crazy fast. Sometimes you want to get away. Faaaaaaar away.

I respect a great deal of people in the game for what they’ve done, what they’re doing, who they are and the way they treat others around them. With that said, there are also some people in the biz that are sleazy, slutty, straight up fucked in the head. When you keep your distance, you keep your nose clean. When you throw yourself in to the fire, sooner or later.. your ass will get burnt. Welcome to things you already knew.

Okay, rantola over.

I’ll try and blog more.. I’ve just been, again, busy. We’re with family right now so I spent today mowing Bryci’s Mom’s front and back lawn, then going for dinner with family. Family is where it’s at.

As I type this, Jack is sleeping beside me under my shirt.

Bryci is in front of me on the sofa, on her laptop enjoying the peace that is staying with family.

Hope your week is going good. We’ll be back in the flow of life soon enough but for now, we’re chillin in the fuck out.