Please stop doing this. This is never a good thing. Duck face makes you look, well, like a duck.
I always wondered what ducks fap to.
I do not have a Model Mayhem account for many reasons. I’m sure I’ll draw a little heat for this blog but fuck it, if nothing I am honest about my thoughts.
Back on September 8th I wrote a blog about photographers I had encountered. I suppose in many ways this blog will rehash or almost say the same shit over, but it needs to be said again.
Why don’t I have a Model Mayhem account? Well, put simply? Too much drama.
There are some professionals on the website and those people are great. There are some professional photographers, models, make up people and others that have my respect to the fullest extent possible. It’s supposed to be a place where models and photographers can find common ground, get organized etc. Sounds simple right?
Instead what ends up happening is something like this…
Photographer with limited portfolio or flat out not very good (perhaps he just started to be fair) will message the hottest models he can find.
Most will ignore him because they feel he simply isn’t good enough to capture them the way they wish to be shot.
I myself think this is fair, we all are allowed to have demands when it’s our image, right?
Then the models sweet enough to respond, saying no thanks for whatever reason, get shit on.
Joe Blow photographer comes unglued and starts insulting the model or her previous work.
This somehow makes sense to this cluster fuck? wow.
Photographer guy – listen up.
If you are starting out, shoot EVERYTHING you can, you’ll gain experience and comfort behind the lens in real world situations. This will show in your portfolio and it will land you opportunities.
If you’re experienced and you’ve been doing it for a long time, learn the following – if someone says they don’t want to work with you, be polite and gracious. Maybe next time sort of thing. Where the fuck in your world does it make sense to shit on a model? These ladies talk to one another. They also may need someone down the road and maybe if you were extra nice, you’ll be the guy that surpasses the assholes that shit on her when she said no in the first place.
Common sense is calling. Answer the fucking phone already.
Seriously. This shit drives me batshit crazy.
I hear stories from many girls I know in and from MM and it’s always this exact same story.
A model bruises your gentle man ego and you go apeshit.
Welcome to being every other dumb ass out there with a camera that THINKS he’s a photographer.
In my opinion, being a photographer isn’t just about what you shoot, who you shoot, how you shoot. It’s about your bedside manor (so to speak). How to interact with the people you work with. How you pay it forward.
We’re all students of life, regardless of our trade. Be it a model, a photographer, a make up tech. Nobody is below you and nobody is above you, we’re all the same.
When you shit on someone, THAT WILL COME AROUND. <– read this again, twice.
So if you chose to use MM, do so knowing the “competition” in there isn’t really competition because most of the photographers in there have egos the size of football fields.
They use Photoshop with actions or filters to manipulate the image and they think this makes them awesome because a bunch of people that don’t know about actions or filters told them they have made talent.
No Skippy, you don’t.
You aimed a camera, you clicked. You imported into Lightroom, played with levels, exported over to Photoshop, added filters or actions. Bam. End product and no, you didn’t shoot it that way. You created it and props to you for having the ability/talent in that lightroom/photoshop arena but note.. this does not make you a kick ass photographer. It makes you someone talented in after effects, perhaps but if your attitude is pure shit.. what good are you? Who will work with you once they hear you suck? Bad mouthing models will burn your bridges pretty fast.
I don’t have a MM account because I don’t want to deal with whiney little bitches that shoot down every photo THEY didn’t take.
Oh, that needs work.
Oh, that is bad composition.
Oh, can I haz sex with you?
To the pros in MM, I salute you. I salute you for having the wherewithal to put up with the guys that bought a camera to see naked boobies and now they figure they’re professional photographers because they found someone to pose for some photos and they created a MM account. I salute the hell out of you pros.
I have met more then my share of these guys. It’s scary. Being humble is where it’s at, but maybe 1 in 5 is this way. the other 4 in 5… pfffftt.. I could have done better type attitude.
Myself? I’m a rookie as far as I am concerned. Yes, a rookie. I’ve been shooting 16 years and I’ve been lucky enough to shoot over 300 ladies and I consider myself a rookie.
Yes, I have a degree in photography but it’s from a long ass time ago. I learn something new every time I shoot Bryci or one of the ladies. Somedays I am proud of the work we accomplish. Other times, FML. Do over please? I see things I did wrong, things I could have done better. We’re all students. There are many shoots live in the Bella network I fucking hate that i wish I could have again. I can blame this or that but when you’re the photographer, you have to accept responsibility. The buck stops with you. I often have felt like I let B down when a set doesn’t go the way I wanted it to. It sucks when i had that feeling. I have been fortunate to not have had it for some time, but at the same time.. it might be lurking right round the corner, with our next shoot. Fuck I hope not. 
Earlier today I had someone tell me that they feel honored that I help them with their photos. I was like.. honored? Fuck me, why? I’m just a guy like you. Not above you, not below you. Beside you. We’re all students, hopefully learning from one another.
If you’re a photog in MM and you’re reading this, please, for fuck’s sake, be nice if someone says no thanks to you. Common sense.
You will find it goes a LOT further.
Don’t email a photographer talking shit, it doesn’t make you better.
What it makes you, is a shitty human being.
Louis CK is my fucking hero. No, seriously. Thank you @louisck for setting the example.
Check out his Paypal and he linked this on his site if you think this is fake.
quoted from his website
hi. So it’s been about 12 days since the thing started and yesterday we hit the crazy number. One million dollars. That’s a lot of money. Really too much money. I’ve never had a million dollars all of a sudden. and since we’re all sharing this experience and since it’s really your money, I wanted to let you know what I’m doing with it. People are paying attention to what’s going on with this thing. So I guess I want to set an example of what you can do if you all of a sudden have a million dollars that people just gave to you directly because you told jokes.
So I’m breaking the million into four pieces.
the first 250k is going to pay back what the special cost to produce and the website to build.
The second 250k is going back to my staff and the people who work for me on the special and on my show. I’m giving them a big fat bonus.
The third 280k is going to a few different charities. They are listed below in case you’d like to donate to them also. Some of these i learned about through friends, some were reccomended through twitter.
That leaves me with 220k for myself. Some of that will pay my rent and will care for my childen. The rest I will do terrible, horrible things with and none of that is any of your business. In any case, to me, 220k is enough out of a million.
I never viewed money as being “my money” I always saw it as “The money” It’s a resource. if it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.
The thing is still on sale. I hope folks keep buying it. If I make another million, I’ll give more of it away. I’ll let you know when that happens because I like you getting to know what happened to your 5 dollars and bringing awareness to the bla bla bla.
Okay I really gotta go now. Thank you again. I will now stop bugging you. I really hate being in the news this much so I’m gonna just disappear for a while.
Happy hollidays.
Louis C.K.
This guy is so fucking awesome. Merry Christmas Louis, you asshole you.
Go buy his $5.00 comedy special so this mofo can give more money to chairty.
You ever wonder why haters are so spineless? I wonder this from time to time.
They will talk shit about you or email you but never do they attach real name or email to it. They instead prefer to comment anonymously.
Super cool awesome!
This always makes me smirk and laugh. I’d say once a week I get some tool commenting or emailing me something they feel is mean. I have yet to think.. oh wow, you’re right. No, instead I laugh and think to myself how sad you are. Then I smile and look over the beautiful Miss Bryci and I remind myself how for six years, this is who I with. True, you being with your left hand all of your fifteen years is a longer term… I’ll take Bryci. Thaaaaanks.
Here’s a tip junior, if you’re going to insult someone, grow some man balls and insult them. You don’t say your email is dog@dog.com. Step up to the plate, after all, what am I going to do? Email you something bad? pfffft. Dumb ass.
I’m writing this blog so you read it and you get all pissy and feel the need to say something back.
Why? Because I’m pretty sure on that day, I’ll be needing entertainment and your grade seven education will provide this for me.
So when you’re done your day shift at McDonalds, be sure to tell me how you like my tattoo or my mad skillz with the camera.
Merry Christmas.
This is the kind of blog where in writing it, I can’t help but think to myself…
self – you’re going to offend some people here.
I say this because some people I encounter online, just make me think… are you joking right now? I see people asking questions that are so..um… stupid.. you can’t help but think they’re kidding. Common sense generally steps in and teaches us things but what is common sense for one, is not for another. As they say, common sense isn’t so common.
I don’t get people saying dumb shit to me usually, I’m not that interesting. lol I don’t get people saying much really, which I like. I’m a normal dude, like you. I eat, sleep, poop. Repeat.
I see what the models need to deal with though and I am beside myself with laughter. I can’t get over how some people think. Maybe I’m alone in this, who knows.
I’d say 95% of the fans the models have are normal people, probably like you and I. We get it. We understand these ladies are here to have fun, but also to make a dollar or two through modeling if they can.
They’re not begging for handouts (well some models do, but that’s a diff blog, for another day), they’re just doing what they do, showing a boobie or two and if you like what you see, you support their work by signing up for their photos/videos or watching them on webcam etc. Like I said, we get it. 95% of us anyway, know this. It’s common sense.
The other 5% though, yikes. These fuckers are strange. Common sense does not apply to these guys, clearly.
for example..
They send models photos of their cock. (guys.. girls laugh at you when you do this, how are you not aware of this?)
They tweet their phone number to the model, thinking she’s going to phone. (she won’t, but the world, will. congrats on being stupid)
They get really pissed off when you don’t exchange huge emails with them (odds are she already has a busy life and she doesn’t *know* you in real life, why get pissy about this?)
I was reading Bryci’s blog, and I see this guy (Jonah) commenting. At first I thought it was cute. Sort of a awwwwwww he’s got a crush type of thing.
Then he flipped it when he got turned down.
I figured I’d write a blog because when you see this day after day, you can’t help but think, *maybe* some guys just don’t know any better.
First off, I have no clue who Jonah is. He did say sort of, so maybe he saw me tweet GO SIGN UP FOR BRYCI.COM and this meant, email Bryci, she wants to be friends with you. Not sure.
So Bryci sees this and thinks, awwww.. and she replied honestly.
I thought this was pretty much sweet, straight forward, No way this could be taken wrong. Well, that is unless it’s not what you wanted to hear…
Jonah replies….
What?
You’re surprised an internet model that has guys all over the world trying to get her attention doesn’t want to be your e-pal? Seriously? No, really, are you being serious here? I ask because common sense tells me, if I email some famous net model, odds are she won’t respond let alone want to respond more then once… let alone be my fucking email pal. How is this not common sense?
I just found this Jonah guy to be typical. A perfect example of the head cases models have to deal with. Model responds and she’s nice, and buddy throws the.. Oh, I wanted to get to know you for you type of bullshit. Let me guess, you went to normalgirls.com and nobody there would email with you either so you figured you’d throw out some emails to internet models. Why the fuck not right?
I’m sure what Bryci looks like had zero to do with anything. (rolls eyes)
Now for the record. I am not being an over protective goon. I saw this and I honestly laughed and thought, what in the fu… this guy clearly has no common sense meter. I agree, it never hurts to ask but when a model says sorry, I am far too busy.. why write back with shitty comments? Needless to say, Jonah has been blocked from her site.
A perfect example though of some of the bullshit models have to deal with and trust me when I say, this doesn’t remotely scratch the surface. I get that being in the public spotlight and being hot, you’re bound to get some trolls or assholes. Part of the gig, I know. Just makes me laugh is all.
Sorry Jonah, you’re going to be in for a long hard life if you think internet models are going to give up their personal lives for emailing with some Finnish teen with a boner.
Best of luck though.
if any of you want to email with Jonah, let me know and I’ll give you his email. Buddy is obviously in need of friends. Bonus if you’re a hot net model.